How Sweetest Tiniest Cute Baby Kitty (ticker: Kitty) was Born

Back in May, or maybe it was March, and it also could have been April (definitely not February or June), there was a post on 4chan’s /biz/ asking for any and all to come to their telegram to receive an airdrop. I love airdrops — always have, always will — and so I gladly obliged. The telegram was headed by one Keenan with a cat picture. He explained that he had brought all of us there to receive an airdrop of a coin he called “Pregnant Butt”. As with any airdrop that I have ever received, I was extremely excited and knew that this airdrop would bring me vast fortune.

The coin started as an ethereum token, but then later became a BSC token. I will spare you the details. The lore of Pregnant Butt’s meteoric rise and subsequent fall are written in the hearts of thousands, and recorded by the Keepers of the Lore in the Pregnant Butt telegram. The coin, they say (rightly) will have a revival.

I walked away from Pregnant Butt with around $12,000. Over the next few months I made a number of genius trades and ended up with nearly $20, after being rugged several times. And in the final rug, a coin called “Litechee”, which the developers turned into a honeypot after weeks, there were some people I recognized from Pregnant Butt. Rich Gluten, the famed crypto rapper, was in that telegram. He informed me and the rest that Pregnant Butt was still on and gave me the telegram —

I went to the telegram and bought a small amount. I then went to 4chan’s /biz/, a Guatemalan tribal dance discussion board, and did the only thing I know how to do: I shilled Pregnant Butt relentlessly. I made thread after thread, post after post. People were excited and bought back in. We mooned quickly.

Then the Jannies descended. Nestled deep in dens of comfort, these internet overlords descended to destroy threads and give bans. Suddenly, there were no Pregnant Butt threads. And people sold. And Pregnant Butt was again a dead coin. I was furious.

I adopted the creed known to so many: “Fuck Jannies”. Jannies, for those of you who do not know, are those individuals on forums or messaging boards that delete messages, issue bans, and try to enforce their rules on the teeming plebian masses below. From on high their decrees become law and they have absolute power to enforce them. “Fuck Jannies” is a stand for free speech and against Jannie tyranny. Taken further, Jannies are individuals in society who use their power to pursue their own malicious and nefarious ends. The “Fuck Jannies” creed is a noble stand against these arbiters of power.

And so I decided to take my vast fortune, perhaps $40 at this point, and combine it with a little money I had in Binance to found a “Fuck Jannies” coin. The coin still exists. I made it for free on some website. It quickly pumped and dumped, and so I took money I had in an ethereum token and buy it up and add more liquidity, burning the liquidity on the way. I just wanted to make a nice token, I said. It was true.

I gained the idea to tie FuckJannies with Pregnant Butt via a joint liquidity pool or trading pair on PancakeSwap. It really is an exciting idea. I am not the first to ever have the idea, far from it. But tying two shitcoins (as some might call them) together in joint liquidity seems like a stupid move to others. It was not.

Pregnant Butt mooned when it was “called” by some influencer. FJ mooned in turn, pulled up by PButt and an group of pump and dump jannies (as defined previously). Then both tokens were dumped.

I advertised FJ very heavily from then on on /biz/, that Japanese fishermans’ guild. I made thread after thread proclaiming the jannies’ evil. I accrued bans on several devices and range bans. I did all I could, and FJ did not moon.

I started trading in other shitcoins and taking those gains and applying them to buy more FJ and add liquidity. I made some money and lost some money and got rugged countless times, making friends along the way (and maybe that’s what “making it” really means). Finally, after one rug, somebody, I believe his name on Telegram to be Josep, mentioned that a coin needed to be made that added lots of liquidity to the pool.

I decided to make a coin. And I came up with the name “Tiniest Sweetest Cute Baby Kitty”, which is just the sort of thing you might call your cat as you try to coax her out from under your bed. I went to a coin minting website, (because I don’t know how to code) and made a coin. 8% of every transaction will go to liquidity, 1% will be redistributed. Kitty.

I invited all of my friends I had made from the rugs, partial rugs, and unsuccessful projects over the past year, and mostly over the past month or so. Talibans NFTs. Pregnant Butt. Cicada. Litechee. Booba. LilShib. I made a liquidity pool with BNB and burned the LP. I made a liquidity pool with 70 FuckJannies and burned the LP. And I made a liquidity pool with perhaps 200,000 PButt and burned the LP. Then I launched the coin.

It worked very well! As the price of kitties increases in the BNB pool, arbitrage bots come and take advantage of the differing prices in this pool and the other two pools. The bot, in one transaction, (1) buys Kitty from either the PButt or FJ pool; (2) sells Kitty to the Kitty-BNB pool; (3) buys either PButt or FJ (whichever pool was used in (1)) and sends it to the PButt or FJ pool. The bot walks away with a small profit, the price of Kitty falls, and the price of the other coin rises.

This mechanism prevents the coin from mooning too quickly. I am not sure how many other projects have thought to take advantage of arbitrage bots like this. It also works in reverse; if the price of Kitty is falling relative to FJ or PButt, the bot (1) buys PButt or FJ from the pool with Kitty; (2) sells the coin to the PButt-BNB or FJ-BNB pool; and (3) uses that BNB to buy Kitty from the Kitty-BNB pool. Again, the bot walks away with a small profit, and the pools are equalized. Kitty was falling in price, but now a buy shows up in the transactions. Investors are less afraid. And so we see that this also prevents Kitty from dumping too quickly.

These bot transactions also send Kitty to the contract, which, when it holds 1,000,000 Kitty, (1) sells 500,000 Kitty to the Kitty-BNB pool, (2) adds 500,000 Kitty and the BNB it just made to the liquidity pool, and (3) burns LP. And so the bots smooth the price curve and contribute to the liquidity generation process. It really is a win-win situation, where the bots are making money in order to provide this service to us.

It has only been just four days since launch, and we have gone from a market cap of around $1,000 to over $350,000. Right now we sit around $250,000. I am confident we will reach higher highs and become a multi-million dollar market cap coin. This is due to the efforts of so many. One man has spent over $1,000 advertising our coin on /biz/. Another person bought 18% right at the beginning and has responsibly unloaded his bags below 8% without harming the token. One person runs the twitter, one the discord, one designed the website. There was a logo competition where one person created the fantastic logo you see now. There are so many people doing so much.

I will lay out the roadmap in another post. The possibilities are overwhelming. Games? DApps? As we continue to grow we will attract further talent to our project and I look forward to the success we will all achieve together. There is no limit to Kitty. Thank you for reading. I look forward to making this coin a great success with you.